All About Kerala Iyers

I am a Kerala Iyer and it is most certain that I will marry a Kerala Iyer only… Many people say it doesn’t make much difference between a regular TN Iyer and a Kerala Iyer, but it certainly does make a huge difference. Yes, we call our native as Kerala (usually Palakkad) and we speak a hybrid language called Talayalam. Just because we speak Talayalam, don’t think we don’t know to speak proper Tamizh and underestimate us. We speak much better Tamizh than you, we do read Tamizh books and are also linguists who can speak any language and English fluently, unlike you, who say “Chaare” for Chair , Yearth for Earth ,  “Beta” for Bata etc.,.

If you tease us with our food habits and diet, then you totally have a wrong perception about Kerala Iyers. We just add coconut in our diet on a daily basis coz as Keralites, we are proud that our native is rich in Coconuts. Unlike all the Malayalis, we don’t dip Nendram Pazham into tea and have it as a snack and also, we don’t eat nendrangai chips everyday. We do make the high tamarind content Vathal Kozhambu, Thogayal and Milagu Rasam every now and then. Its just that we love our widespread of dishes like Molagootal, Avial, Kaalan,Olan, Erisseri, Puleenji,Pradhaman and Pappadam. And yes, our breakfast is not always “Puttu and Kadalai” but we do eat Idly, Vadai, Sambar.

Not all Kerala Iyer girls or ladies are your so called “Omanas or Paaru Kutties” , and we don’t wear that “onnara” saree like the Malayalis do. Malayali Ladies are not born to expose! Better keep that in your mind and remove that shitty thought out of it!

We do watch Lalettan’s movies but are big fans of Thalaivar Rajnikanth. We do watch Sun TV, Jaya TV and Star Vijay, besides Asianet and  Surya TV.  We love football, unlike you, who die to watch cricket matches.

Our children are and have excelled in various fields other than education and sports. Not all Kerala Iyers are Chamayal kaaras or Catering people. We are conservative and self-centered people, who hate to brag about ourselves. Remember that Kerala’s literacy is higher than that of Tamil Nadu’s and that’s mainly coz of us – Kerala Iyers. We encourage our children not only to study science but also commerce and arts. We leave them to pursue their passion or field of interest, unlike you who compare your child with some pakkathu aathu mami’s nerdy child who just scored a centum in Mathematics. See, we are born Mathematicians and don’t like to brag around about it. We get through IIT and IIM’s entrance in a jiffy .You people envy us and say “Andha malayalathukaara seat kaasu kuduthu vaangiruppa”. We don’t buy seats, we earn them through hard work.

We too are culturally sound. We don’t do Kathakali or Mohiniaattam. We have music exponents like Chembai Sri.Vaidyanatha Bhagavathar, Yesudas, Mathur Hari Hara Iyer and modern day singers like Shankar Mahadevan, Naresh Iyer, Malgadi Shubha, Usha Uthup, Ranjani Gayathri, Trichur Brothers etc.. If you think December season is the greatest , please check for “Chembai Music Festival” where we encourage several artists from all over the world!

Kerala Iyers don’t have a bar at home. We neither booze nor smoke. Remember, Tasmac shops are more in your place, not here.

We are more stricter than you, when it comes to following Madi and Aacharams. You must have heard about Keralites taking shower twice a day, even if they live in places like Antarctica. You also very well know about strict temples like Guruvayur and Sabarimala. Yes, we follow every rule and shastram very strictly. It is just that we are a little considerate and don’t show off in front of anyone. You should know that we have Veda Samrakshana Samitis being run all over the Agraharams of Kerala and we produce several Samskrit Scholars every year.

We are not smarty’s like you are and we are very liberal when it comes to Kalyana Cheeru and stuff. We don’t wear Kgs of Gold, unlike you, who expect “Vaira thodu” from their Daughter-in-law or shit loads of Cheeru , every time you come to visit your samandhi. We are not at all Egoists and are extremely reciprocal people, who love to feast and feed any number of mouths who come to our house.

We too are Tambrahms and we do celebrate Pongal and Karthikai Deepam along with Onam and Vishu.

Please don’t compare us with the Kameshwaran from Michael Madan Kamaraj or Ramji from Nala Damayanthi. We speak far better language and don’t say “aeyey” every now and then. We address our parents as “Amma” and “Appa” and not “Amme and Achan” . Borthers are Anna and Thambi and Sisters are Akka and Thangais.

We don’t do strikes and are not communists. We love to discuss politics but we don’t torture the innocent “Hindu” newspaper everyday.

We don’t wear much of Pattu saree or Pattu Madisar, but instead, we love our cotton sarees and cotton onbadhu gajam podavai. We are weather conscious people. We dress according to the occasion and weather of the place, appropriately and usually don’t like to harm the innocent “silk moths”.

We are proud of being Kerala Iyers and are much more advanced than you think. It is because we are linguists and our  liberal food habits that we can adjust anywhere in this world (Yes, we are 100% Vegetarians – for more details, check out the info about the wide spread of chain of Brahmin restaurants in Palakkad). We like being self centered and conservative, but we do have enough exposure.

We are a happy group of people who have migrated all over the world, from the South Western region of India.

(Oh Please! we are not the 90% of Malayalakaara, settled in Gulf).

Naangalum Tambrahms daan, engala yen odhukarel?