It was after a busy day, after a tiring training session for soft skills, I had logged in to Facebook Iyer Tips page, where , I received a message..thinking it to be some page membervaal’s kumural, I thought I’ll ignore it and check it later… But then, seri nu I checked and for my surprise, it was a message from Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook…. Aiyo! Enna da idhu, namba page la namba edha edakodama potutomo, ivan nambala edha vambuku izhukarano nu thonichu… It was like thooki vaari podal moment for me…. As I opened the message, I read that Mark was impressed with the page and he wanted to know more about Tambrahms…. I thought it was some prank..but no! It was indeed Mark himself…. I replied back to him explaining the basic things about us… A week later, I got a reply stating that he was even more impressed and wanted to know more… Lifting my kurti’s collar up, I replied back to him to arrange a video call and that I’d make my Paati-Thatha talk to him that weekend… He agreed to it….
My paati wore her best chungudi Madisar and thatha in his best Panjagajam, with a Tripundra on his fore head…. It was time to receive Mark’s video call… I made sure that the lighting and all were good and rest all were perfect… I tried talking my best in a proper Indian Accent (neku andha Amerikka bhaashai laam varaadhu ma) .
Toying toying my lappy buzzed and I took the call… It was Mark on the other side…. My heart filled with joy…I found it hard to put my words into a sentence, but managed to talk well…. Mark asked for my Paati and Thatha, I moved aside and sat beside Paati…
Paati looked at me and smiled with her pokkai vaai ” Ivan daana di andha Maarku”
Mark : ” Nah Mash Ttthei ”
Paati : “Nanna iru”
Thatha just showed both his hands like he was blessing Mark and smiled .
Me : “So , Mark, she is my grandmom, Saraswathy ammal and he is my grand dad Krishna Iyer”.
Mark smiled ” Glad to see them… So, can we just go a li’ll ahead with the conversation.. I am excited to know more about Tcham-brahms (Tambrahms ah apdi sonaan avan 😛 ) ”
I turned towards paati and thatha and signalled them to talk
Thatha : “Idho see da pa Marku, I know that you are the see yee vo aaf Facebooku, why you making aal these things pa, my grand daughter never studies or worksu… aal the time on facebook seeing faces and fotos aaf peepul… Ok, but nice yoo aar doing some guddu aalso… Now that you have personally toldu to her to know about Tamizh brahmana, listen carefully seriya? ”
Mark smiles and folds his hands like a sishyan..
Paati : ” Paaru pa Marku, we are brahmins, means the brahmana, means the direct great crand children or heirs of God Brahma… We talk in tamil so the name tamil brahmins… We ladies wear madisar saree after marriage, like I am wearing now see… ask your aambadaiyaal Prichila also to wear once ok va… It is for women’s safety da ambi…. It has some scientific reasons also seriya? Very protective against things like bad people’s bad eyeing on women and all…
Adhellam vidu, we are all smarthas like.. We pray to Shiva God and Vishnu God equally….
Mark asks ” Vishnu as in Krishna?”
Thatha : ” Yaa….Krishnar is one Avadaaram aaf Vishnu… like Vishnu did fancy dress into 10 different avadaarams, to teach good to the world… Krishna is the 9th avadaaram and is the boy friend aaf many women….”
Mark : “What are those grey lines on your forehead and what is that yellow round in between? Why are you wearing ear rings, sir?”
Thatha: ” Abhishtoo! adhu grey lines illai.. they are Vibhuti powder I wore like 3 lines with my 3 fingers and the yellow is chandanam or sandal wood paste…. It is called as Tripundra…. Vibhuti is made of burnt cow dung….in these days people aar telling no, cow dung cures brain cancers and all… our great grand fothers aal told it that day only and we aar following it…. Sandal wood paste keeps mind cool…. you aalso keep once… My appa and thatha put Kadukan in my kaadhu for my upanayanam (shows his poonool)…. Kadukan means gold ear rings with stone studded… It is like accupuncture and this, my poonool is having 9 strings, where first 3 stirngs they put initially..then 3 more are added on marriage day and 3 more when appa passes away… these strings show responsibility and taking the duty of running the family goodly..
Mark raises his eyebrows in wonder… “Wow”!
We tell Abhivadaye also… I will teach you… “Abhivadaye……… Now Marku you also repeat it… ” Mark repeated every word thatha told…
Mark was very impressed…. He wanted to know more but due to some important work, he had to cut the conversation short… “Thank you thaw thaw and Pphaw tchee for giving me your time… It is time for me to leave now, Next time I visit India, I will meet you and we can discuss a lot”
Paati : “Come for my grand daughter’s wedding with your aambadaiyal , she will send the card ok? ”
Mark: ” Sure Phaw tchee” 🙂
The conversation ended…
A week later, I got a message from some one called “Markandeya Sastrigal” on Iyer Tips… message open pannina I saw “Abhivadhaye, Angeerasa….. Aham Markandeya Sastri, Asmi boohoo” Namaskaram to Phawtchee and Thaw Thaw”…. And then I saw a picture of Mark wearing a thripundra, chandanam, in a panjagajam and he wore kadukan in kaadhu…. 😛 😛 😛
Seriyaana transformation daan pongo!
P.S. This is just for fun purpose and is solely a work of imagination… This is not to hurt anyone’s sentiments or anything of such sort, but to share some laughs among the stressed people of a small community in India called Tambrahms. Mark, I am sure you’ll love this, if you have a translator who can translate Tamil into English. 🙂 😀