Defining (Me)enu

Recently, I was asked on Quora; Can you write a poem on yourself?.. I wrote it and posted it there… you can read it here.  I hope you have read it 😉

Well, there’s a lot more about me, than just the poem, which is merely an outline sketch…
While a few of my friends who read it said “It’s totally You” , a few more who know a little more about me said “Hey, this is not really you…. you are actually emotional” and stuff like that….  Based on my behaviour and closeness with every other person, they commented on this…. Serious aspects aside, let me tell you a little more about me…

  • I am some one who observes a lot and tells it out immediately- I’ve been given with over sensory sense organs.

    In one funeral, I stood to a corner and laughed while everyone present there were grieving an old man’s death…. I was the only one to laugh…. Ask why, I was all jobless there and all I did was observing people, their actions and talks… I actually differentiated those “real” grievers from the “fake” criers, who cried without shedding a drop of tear, that too only when someone came….  Understanding my ability to burst out laughing at serious situations, my friend Lallu suggested me to cover my mouth with a dupatta and laugh so that people think that even I am grieving the death of a person…

    Similarly, one day , I accompanied my Appa to the Samajam for some event… That Samajam is a hub of Tambrahms of Hyderabad and as soon as you enter there, you can smell Aviyal and Sambar everywhere (even when they are not cooking ya!)…. Appa introduced me to one guy (let me name him S), who was working with some company and was telling that he’d help me get a job and all that…. This guy was wearing a Veshti and as and when he got up and walked I laughed a loud…. When Appa asked why, I shook my hands in a pendulum oscillatory motion…. Well, that guy had tied his veshti so tight that his Butt protruded out and while he walked, it oscillated in a pendular motion (No Offence S and yeah, I am not objectifying anyone here…) It so happened that S’ father was right beside me, gritting his teeth while I told it out!

  • I am a collection of Paradoxes- To some, I seem to be serious. To some more I seem to be hilarious…. I don’t know why but I seem hilarious to those who are serious and serious to those who are Hilarious…. Like, am I balancing it?
  • I am senselessly sensible- I make nonsense out of sense and sense out of nonsense…. I know I am a nuisance 😀
  • I am Emotional and Sensitive- I  cry at silly movies, I get annoyed at nothing at all…. But see, I don’t cry for good marks and all like the other girls…. I am sensitive to those things, for which I really need to get sensitised for…. But not for stuff like, when appa sprinkles water on my face in the morning at 9 am, to wake me up, I wipe that water off my face and sleep…. See, I am strong enough to do that… 😛
  • I am a Passionate Lover-  Of Food and Arts… I am not that passionate lover, like those people who post stuff on Social media like “Who needs  a BF, I have my Dog who loves me better….”, “Who needs a wife, when I have my cat here… She loves me much better than any one else” , ” I would prefer marrying my pet any day” and such sort of ‘Love’ly messages and post pix of kissing their dog, cuddling their cat and all that!
  • I am not just a Human Resources Professional- I have another profession too…. I am a Human Relations Developer  I help people develop relations with strangers, for a lifetime….  That only re, I see matches and create matrimony profiles for unmarried people… Like after searching matches for the past 5 years for my akka, my friend’s parents also started availing my services…. The company people understood my Job needs, identified my true potential and offered me the job of a relationship manager with one of the leading matrimony companies….
    See for yourself 😀 😀 😀
  • I am Rebelliously Traditional-  I almost always roam around in my Jeans and T-shirts… those who see me call me a Tomboy…. For that reason, don’t think that I will wear Pattu pant and Patu t-shirt and get married… I will wear Madisar ok! Jeans Madisar with Denim Blouse and a super cool pair of Nerdy Glasses 😀
  • I am an unlicensed Driver- I don’t think I need a Licence to drive people nuts….
  • I am a Night-owl- My friends call me a gurkha, because I am up all night and they think that I do a lot of constructive stuff at that time…  Actually, I do all destructive stuff at that time… Like writing these kind of posts and all that…. People think I sleep late at night and still wake up early- 11 am – early for lunch 😀
  • I am Kind- One of a Kind of species only… I am not kind enough to let my 7 year old niece to eat my chocolate or share my minion toys with her… My toys are mine and only mine!
  • I Can’t keep calm,I have Sani on my tongue all the time and not many realise it…  Tee hee hee hee…. So, that’s it about me! 😀

 

1468564_10200432106843578_662436076_n

Cheers,

Meenu.Iyer A.k.a Aarya

 

 

 

Advertisements

Aiyo Rama Relatives ah 😫 

Hi readers, I hope you are all enjoying Surya bhagawan’s love filled extra “warmth” 😝😝😝😝 

Past 10 days, I’ve been dealing with several relatives and here are a few of them… 

#1- They talk about your personality… How ever good you look, they always find a fault… One of them told me the other day, “Omg! You’ve grown so tall… How and from where will we find you a suitor?” 

  Now what should I do, cut my feet ah, to get married?? My mother fed me Complan mixed with Horlicks , any problem for you ah?? Nonsense fellows! 

Similar shit they speak ya… If you are short, they will talk as if injecting you with pituitary hormone for height growth 😂😂😂😂 

#2 Traits- Genes- similarity… One of my relatives who might be my grandfather’s brother’s daughter said – out of shittily fake excitement – “heyyy.. waaaw… You are mixing up ghee with rice and eating… Just like me… See, even you are eating with right hand.. just like me… Let’s take a selfie, people will think you and I are mother and daughter… You have so many similarities to me.. “Oh maai gaawd… We are so alike… Same family na… Same genes… ”  

Oh yeah… So true… Even I walk with 4 limbs and eat like a monkey, may be in “our” genes 🐒 

Because of such relatives, you feel you’ve lost your originality 😥 sometimes, you even feel that may be you were given in adoption to your parents and that these relatives might’ve been your biological parents 😝😝 

#3- Analysts-judges-gossippers- I have a few aunties, who, no matter what occassion it is… Be it even a funeral, they will start their analysis , judge others and gossip… One of those aunties came to me and said “see this couple, they are 50+ yrs old… They have to get their daughter married, see how they are shamelessly going on couple trips.. instead they have to go to temples , do pariharams so that their daughter gets married… Hey wait, may be that girl has a boy friend that’s why she is also carefree, her parents are also roaming happily… Hmm… What family oh”  

Some people don’t care about the shit that’s on their head, they see someone’s bald head and laugh about it… Bleddy morons! Your head is stinking, go take a shower 😠😠


#4 Copycat Cousins- I have some cousins who copy me hardcore… Like the way I talk, my gestures… I have one cousin who copies me in almost all the ways 😂😂… If I wear a pink kurti, she wears a similar one, if I say some word, she catches it and uses it like some mantra… I bought a pair of Nike shoes(apparently coz of my gigantic personality, I had to take the unisex one), while she could get the ladies shoe in Nike, she insisted on taking the unisex model only…  😫 she copies the way I eat, she tries sleeping like I do… And she says that’s her style too… I mean! That’s ridiculous… How the hell can someone be me by wearing clothes like me ?? 

I am not so good to be copied dear, try copying someone else and leave me alone please 😥
Copycat, day by day, you are only becoming more fat 😝

#5  Comparison Kings and Queens- From the stupendous stats of stupid people , I found out that 75% of the relatives compare…  Aiyoyoyo! I ve had enough of them pa! They compare you with their children who are of your age or may be compare themselves with your parents and they even compare their pet dog’s poop with that of your pets… So much that you end up feeling your pet is a constipate 😥 . 

I’ve got enough of these people ya… They say shit like “hey see, my son is your age, he is married already… My neighbor’s daughter is your age, she is doing PhD in “Rambaford University” in USA’s cookgramam… Why are you still like this? 

See, people your age are doing higher studies, you also study… People your age are earning so much, you also earn like them, people your age are getting married, you also get married, people your age are becoming parents, you also plan for a child soon… 

People your age are dying, you also die ya! 😝😝😝

#6 Boaster-Big-big-talkers-Peethal mannans- These relatives no, aiyoyo, very very dangerous pa… They talk as if they are world achievers… As if they know everything, as if they own everything… They bleddy poke their dirty nose into your affairs and boast so much about themselves… One of my relative was once talking about coffee… So this boasting mama poked his biiig nose in between and was telling “aahn… Coffee means filter coffee only… My wife no, she walks in jet speed from Chennai to Coorg, gets fine coffee beans, roasts them well, powders them just by placing them in between her palms, brews the decoction from Ganga water crystal clear from the valley, mixes it with fresh desi cow milk which is thick like cream, adds fine sugar of Bodhan and serves it to me in silver tumbler…” 

By the time he finished it, there was none 😝😝😝 

Similarly, they talk as if their son is the next Sundar Pichai …( He is not even worth to be a roadside Pichai… That I know), their daughter is Atiloka sundari (monkeys will be more beautiful if they put make up ya, this one is even worse than monkey… Trust me)…. 

 

If you ever want to punish someone, tie their hands and legs and make them sit in a room, with these boaster relatives of yours… They will come out a changed leaf 😂

So, this is it for now folks,  about my relatives… If you ever relate your relatives to mine, bro-sis join the club 😂 

Cheers,

Meenu Iyer a.k.a Aarya