Malayamarutam and monsoon morning…. 

It was 4 o clock in the morning, still dark and it rained cats and dogs… Veera woke up to him practicing music every morning…. 

Uttering a short prayer, she woke up… Blurry eyed, she walked into the hall where the electronic Tanpura played “SA PA SA” octaves of Carnatic music. 

Abhi must have gone for a coffee break… Let me go to the kitchen and ask him to make a cup of coffee for me also…. 

 Abhiram wasn’t there in the kitchen…  Veera looked for him all over the house… She took the stairs from their sitting room, that lead to his study room, which was his personal space, that was on their terrace…  

It rained very heavily, the loud patter of rain, the red sky, the ghostly looking guava tree and it’s scarily swishing branch, the continuous lightning, the flying white curtains of the constantly battling window panes and the lizard trying to catch its prey, scared Veera a lot….. Taking all courage, she closed the window and prepared to run down… 

Thuderbolt struck her, when she read a note that was addressed to her…. 

We need to talk, Veera… 

with Abhiram’s signature….. 

She came downstairs holding the note… She picked up her phone and found that there were 12 missed calls, all from Abhiram’s number… There was a WhatsApp text for her, which read 

We have to talk Veera, this is serious

Veera dialled Abhiram’s number , only to find that his mobile phone was switched off…. Various thoughts engulfed her mind already… Abhiram, being a private and reserved person, hardly had any friends.. he also, was not in touch with any of his relatives…. Veera called up all his friends and a few close cousins one after the other, only to find that he wasn’t in any of their house…. 

She walked to the dining table to drink some water… On the table, was a sealed envelope…. She tore it open and found a printed paper, which was a bus ticket from Bangalore to Mangalore, on which was written “Mr. Abhiram- male 32 yrs +1, Female 28 yrs” .  To the ticket was pinned a letter which read as 

“Hi Veera, I am going away with her to Mangalore… I know I was supposed to tell this to you, but I never got a chance… Ok bye” 


Veera’s eyes were red, tears flowed on her cheek…. The sound of the electronic tanpura was now irritating to her… She rushed to the room to switch it off… 

She sat on the floor cross legged, with her head bent… She cried aloud…. Not knowing what was happening with her all of a sudden…  She sat down wondering what went wrong between the 2 of them from day 1, that he went away with another woman…. 

2 years ago..  Hyderabad… 1 pm

It was a lunch party hosted by Veera’s friends, at Dialogue in the dark restaurant…. She, along with her friends, was guided to take a seat, by the waiter…. As goes the speciality of the restaurant, it was pitch dark and the girls talked an giggled…. On the same table, opposite to them were a few men who silently had lunch and talked nothing much…. As a part of their conversation, Veera’s friends asked her to sing a song…. The guy sitting opposite to Veera also joined her in singing the Carnatic number…. His voice sounded very familiar to her…. 

Abhiram Kaushik isn’t it? 

Yes mam… 

Wow! Abhiram I am your fan… I’ve attended many of your concerts and I also have your CDs…. Infact this song is also from your album “Shwethambara”…. I am sorry, I have spoilt the song by signing it… Can you please sing this song for me .. 

Sure mam…. I shall…

Veera could not believe that she met her favourite musician, YouTube’s sensation , yet a very humble person and could talk to him for 2 hours and listen to her favourite songs from him…. 

As they came out of the restaurant, she realised that she had actually caught Abhiram’s hand tight…. 

Abhiram was a 6 footer, average built man with deep eyes, clean shaven face, that revealed his dimple on the right cheek every time he smiled… He wore a white t-shirt , teamed up with a beige coloured cotton shorts… He wore a pair of  black leathery flip-flops…. Veera scanned him from top to bottom and could not take her eyes off, nor could she leave his hand… 

Madam, we are out already, may I go? 

You may, but before that share with me your phone number…. We shall keep in touch…. 

I am sorry mam, I am a private person… I cannot share my details to any stranger… But to you, I will… Only with a condition that you would continue playing violin and never leave it…. 

Ofcourse… Anything for you….  Veera noted down his number and saved it with his name…. 

All through the day, she proudly showed off to everyone on Facebook and WhatsApp and all the social media, the selfies that she had taken with her favourite singer earlier that day…. 

Everyday, she’d type a long text message to Abhiram and end up saving it in draft, rather than sending them to him…

One day, she received a message from Abhiram stating about his concert in Hyderabad…. she excitedly replied to him that she’d attend it for sure…. 

She eagerly awaited for the concert…. More than the concert, it was to take him to her place, as per the promise she had taken from him…. 

On July 25th, at Hari Hara gana sabha was held his concert…. Veera, along with her father, patiently waited for the crowd to leave…. She then waved to Abhiram, excitedly…. 

Please join us for dinner, Abhiram

Yes yes, you have promised to me…. Come home no…. 

Accompanied by Veera and her father, Abhiram went to Veera’s place…. After dinner, Veera took him to her room…. She picked up her violin and played a tune… Shuddha  Saveri he said…. Very good…. Now sing along as I play the raga….  “Paripalayamam… Sree Padmanabha murare”  he sang, as she played Reethigowla raga on her violin…. 

You play the Violin so well, Veera… You must be a professional violin player…. 

Yes, that she is… All these trophies and certificates are hers, Abhiram…. 

That’s so great Veera…. You must pursue this is what I feel…. 

Sure Abhiram…. 

They spoke for a very long time and as Abhiram started to leave, Will you marry my daughter? I think the two of you make a great couple….

Well, sir, please talk to my parents…. 

The talks were taken further, Abhiram’s voice was complemented with Veera’s violin…. At their wedding, they did a concert themselves…. Since that day, every concert that Abhiram sang in, Veera was his violinist…. They were not just musicians but also, Abhiram was a scientist and Veera was a lawyer…. Abhiram was placed at  Bangalore IIScT and Veera joined a firm and practiced her profession there….  

They had a happy marriage and lead a very harmonious life, with a few small fights which were solved easily… They were a matured couple…. 

Few months ago, a 28 yr old woman joined as a junior research scholar, under Abhiram…. She was a violinist too…. She grew closer to Abhiram and would visit their place on a regular basis…. They often went on short research trips to the nearby villages to collect some specimen…. 

Oh My God! I totally forgot… Abhiram has a concert the day after tomorrow, at Mangalore…. May be he took her for that…  But I did not agree to play violin for him because I have some filing and compliance work and they are just not letting me take a leave…  

May be that is why he took this as an advantage and is taking her along with him to Mangalore… 

Scenes of Abhiram and his junior cuddling and singing romantic songs played in front of Veera’s eyes…. She was thoroughly irritated… 

She saw the ticket, which had a boarding time of 6:50 am…. She saw the watch and it was 5:45 already…. She freshened up and sped her car to the bus depot….. There was no much traffic so she sped as fast as she could….. It took her almost 45 min to reach the bus depot…. She parked the car carelessly, enquiring about the buses to Mangalore, she ran as fast as she could…. 

Veera…. Ohhhh Veera…..I am here…. Abhiram was sitting with his luggage at the window seat , in the Airavat bus…. She climbed in and slapped Abhiram…. 

Why are you doing this to me? 

Here, drink water… Listen carefully…. We shall talk about it…. 

The bus started moving….. 

Where is she, your junior? 

She is there at Mangalore already…. Anyway, her ticket was not cancelled…. You are traveling in it now…. I am glad, my money isn’t being wasted…. 

How can you do this to me? 

Sshh, people are watching… Veera got up in a rage and swapped her seat with an old man… He sat beside Abhiram and Veera sat in the man’s seat, looking out of the window, she began crying silently….. 

Abhiram slept…. 

They reached Mangalore by evening…. Abhiram and Veera got down… There was a man waving at them, to pick them up… 

Where are we going? 

To the guest house… 

She must be waiting for you there…. 

Abhiram smiled and struck up a conversation with the driver…. They passed through some mountains and ghat roads.. it was almost 9 pm by the time they reached the guest house…. 

Sir, your honeymoon suite is ready…. 

You booked a honeymoon suite? This is the limit Abhiram…. I need a separate room… You enjoy with her…. I never expected you’d ditch me this way…. It was all my fault…. Sorry sir, I will leave tomorrow morning… You spend as many days you want, with her… But be ready for the notice that I’ll be serving you soon… GOOD NIGHT! 

The next morning Veera heard someone knock her room’s door… She woke up tired and sleepy eyed… She had nothing in mind about the previous day’s happenings… As per her routine, she went and sat beside Abhiram and leaned on his shoulder… Abhiram smiled and cuddled her…. Happy birthday to you…  He sang for her…. She hugged him back, still not in complete consciousness…. 

Come, let me show you something…  Abhiram lifted his wife and took her into his room, locked the door, opened the blinds of his window and embraced her warmly from behind…. Veera, isnt the view so beautiful?  He sang a song for her in malayamarutham raga, as the cool breeze carrying tiny droplets of rain fell on their face….. Do you know what, we are in deep forest covered with thick greenery… We are on the mighty western ghat mountains… We are in Agumbe forests… 

You said you wanted to talk something to me? 

Oh yes… I want to talk to you, spend time with you and celebrate your special day with you, in a place that you wished to be…. We have been busy for the past 2 years of our marriage, with our work and concerts around… We never got time to spend with each other…. In order to give you a mini stroke, I planned this risky surprise…. Just like malayamarutham ragam, i wanted it to haunt you at the start and make you feel loved at the end…. I am sorry about the tension you had taken for me… 

It’s alright Abhiram… As long as she doesn’t come in our life, I am happy… 

She has finished her dissertation..  she left to Goa , her native long back…. I knew you doubted her and me a lot…. Honestly speaking, she is more of a sister to me… She is married and has a kid too…. 

Abhiram, don’t you think we need to have a baby too?

The Mangalore concert has just begun 😉


The villain of my life 

Appa you are the villain in my life. If not for you, I wouldn’t have emerged as a hero(ine) today… If not for your scolding, I’d be a brat pa! If not for your Tamil movie villain like looks, some guy would have tried bullying us… If not for your lessons and habit of writing the day’s accounts, I’d have spent a fortune leaving all of us in rags… You may have looked a villain to me all these years pa, but you are the true hero…
If amma has been up all night when I was ill, you bore my pee stench, when I peed on you as a kid… You bore it all silently, sacrificing your sleep, by letting me sleep peacefully and helping amma clean the whole mess that I’d make at night….
Your story telling skills are unbeatable pa… You have put me to sleep for several years with your stories… Your Bheeman stories have impacted on me so much that today, I have grown up to be a Kaliyuga Hidimbi- Tall, Strong, Heavy and Sharp…

When amma was not allowed into the kitchen on those days of the month, you made the yummiest idlies with molaga podi, naei and chakkarai for breakfast.. You introduced me to fusion food like Vadai sandwich, burgers and all the available junk food on earth! You are one amazing partner in crime for akka and me, in eating tasty junk food. How I love eating chaat and Ice cream with you, in Sindhi colony.

Whenever I came home after a fight with some classmate or schoolmate of mine, you have encouraged me to fight them back… You raised me fearless pa… So much that you yourself feared that I’d beat up someone black and blue someday (you know it did happen with the auto guy who charged me more money)

You never bothered about akka or me scoring top ranks, you just wanted us to do justice to your efforts of paying our education fees, by passing the examinations. Alas, all our degrees, certificates and trophies are yours coz your name is our second name and we will never let any other man’s name take over yours… Appa, I still remember that day, when I learnt that I failed for the 4th time in accounts exam and I cried holding your shirt… Seeing me from your Activa’s mirror, you coolly took me for a kulfi… The day I graduated as a MBA, you proudly boasted to everyone that your daughter fulfilled your dream…

You never let me feel low anyday, after a failed interview… I’ve wasted too much of your money on useless interviews which gave me false hopes of a job, yet you have been my ATM pa… You always said the company is unlucky not to have a talented person like my daughter…

You trust us , your daughters more than anyone else…You have silently paid our mobile bills and never asked a question on whom we are talking to.. you have never touched our mobiles or even laptop coz you respect our privacy so much…  You let us mingle with everyone, from all walks of life… You gave us all the freedom to hang out with friends, you discussed everything with us and made us aware of this world… You raised us confident pa… You know your daughters more than anyone else and you have never fallen for anyone’s talks… You have our back all the time, against someone who rubbishes about us. Appa, coz of the trust you have on us, we have never ever lied to you on anything… I still remember the day I  did hookah during college and told it to you… You never scolded me and instead, you just asked me not to do it again… Till day I stick on to it pa…

Appa, though you have given us enough freedom to choose our life partner (with all the applied conditions of yours), despite knowing that we are incapable of finding one. Appa, you very well know our choices and know what’s the best for us… I know it is a very tiring process for you, but still… We will be happy with the guy you choose for us pa… We are little girls after all…

All those cuss words from all the south indian , North Indian and English languages , I learnt from you pa… My sense of humour is always inspired from you and your wit… All those management lessons you give us, the people management skills have been learnt from you pa… You have not only taught me how to work in an office but also​ have taught me how to manage our business, by asking me to help you in our coffee shop…

Appa, I am sorry to have swept the floor to irritate you as soon as you come after bath, in madi , to perform sandhyavandhanam. I am sorry to have passed racist comments on your colour whenever you called me fat….

I know you feel proud that you have raised a fearless girl, everytime I stand up for somethings against you… But I feel sad for hurting you with my tone and words… I hate arguing with you pa! I feel guilty about it…

How I love to teach you to use the gadgets and make you tech savvy… I love the enthusiasm of a 10 yr old eccentric kid that you show in learning new technology… I enjoy reading all those long forwards you send on WhatsApp, though some of them are irritating…

Appa, you have never expressed your feelings to us but I know how you will feel the day we get married and go… Appa, I don’t want you to shed a tear that day when you see me off to my in-laws place… I can’t wipe my leaking nose and spoil my bridal make up that day! Better be a good boy ok?

Appa, you always are standing   for your name Prem, which means Love. So many struggles, so many sacrifices you are making for us, your children, to grow and emerge successful and lead a happy life… Premu, Happy Appa’s day Da!


Your Kunju Kondhei , your little brat 🙂

Defining (Me)enu

Recently, I was asked on Quora; Can you write a poem on yourself?.. I wrote it and posted it there… you can read it here.  I hope you have read it 😉

Well, there’s a lot more about me, than just the poem, which is merely an outline sketch…
While a few of my friends who read it said “It’s totally You” , a few more who know a little more about me said “Hey, this is not really you…. you are actually emotional” and stuff like that….  Based on my behaviour and closeness with every other person, they commented on this…. Serious aspects aside, let me tell you a little more about me…

  • I am some one who observes a lot and tells it out immediately- I’ve been given with over sensory sense organs.

    In one funeral, I stood to a corner and laughed while everyone present there were grieving an old man’s death…. I was the only one to laugh…. Ask why, I was all jobless there and all I did was observing people, their actions and talks… I actually differentiated those “real” grievers from the “fake” criers, who cried without shedding a drop of tear, that too only when someone came….  Understanding my ability to burst out laughing at serious situations, my friend Lallu suggested me to cover my mouth with a dupatta and laugh so that people think that even I am grieving the death of a person…

    Similarly, one day , I accompanied my Appa to the Samajam for some event… That Samajam is a hub of Tambrahms of Hyderabad and as soon as you enter there, you can smell Aviyal and Sambar everywhere (even when they are not cooking ya!)…. Appa introduced me to one guy (let me name him S), who was working with some company and was telling that he’d help me get a job and all that…. This guy was wearing a Veshti and as and when he got up and walked I laughed a loud…. When Appa asked why, I shook my hands in a pendulum oscillatory motion…. Well, that guy had tied his veshti so tight that his Butt protruded out and while he walked, it oscillated in a pendular motion (No Offence S and yeah, I am not objectifying anyone here…) It so happened that S’ father was right beside me, gritting his teeth while I told it out!

  • I am a collection of Paradoxes- To some, I seem to be serious. To some more I seem to be hilarious…. I don’t know why but I seem hilarious to those who are serious and serious to those who are Hilarious…. Like, am I balancing it?
  • I am senselessly sensible- I make nonsense out of sense and sense out of nonsense…. I know I am a nuisance 😀
  • I am Emotional and Sensitive- I  cry at silly movies, I get annoyed at nothing at all…. But see, I don’t cry for good marks and all like the other girls…. I am sensitive to those things, for which I really need to get sensitised for…. But not for stuff like, when appa sprinkles water on my face in the morning at 9 am, to wake me up, I wipe that water off my face and sleep…. See, I am strong enough to do that… 😛
  • I am a Passionate Lover-  Of Food and Arts… I am not that passionate lover, like those people who post stuff on Social media like “Who needs  a BF, I have my Dog who loves me better….”, “Who needs a wife, when I have my cat here… She loves me much better than any one else” , ” I would prefer marrying my pet any day” and such sort of ‘Love’ly messages and post pix of kissing their dog, cuddling their cat and all that!
  • I am not just a Human Resources Professional- I have another profession too…. I am a Human Relations Developer  I help people develop relations with strangers, for a lifetime….  That only re, I see matches and create matrimony profiles for unmarried people… Like after searching matches for the past 5 years for my akka, my friend’s parents also started availing my services…. The company people understood my Job needs, identified my true potential and offered me the job of a relationship manager with one of the leading matrimony companies….
    See for yourself 😀 😀 😀
  • I am Rebelliously Traditional-  I almost always roam around in my Jeans and T-shirts… those who see me call me a Tomboy…. For that reason, don’t think that I will wear Pattu pant and Patu t-shirt and get married… I will wear Madisar ok! Jeans Madisar with Denim Blouse and a super cool pair of Nerdy Glasses 😀
  • I am an unlicensed Driver- I don’t think I need a Licence to drive people nuts….
  • I am a Night-owl- My friends call me a gurkha, because I am up all night and they think that I do a lot of constructive stuff at that time…  Actually, I do all destructive stuff at that time… Like writing these kind of posts and all that…. People think I sleep late at night and still wake up early- 11 am – early for lunch 😀
  • I am Kind- One of a Kind of species only… I am not kind enough to let my 7 year old niece to eat my chocolate or share my minion toys with her… My toys are mine and only mine!
  • I Can’t keep calm,I have Sani on my tongue all the time and not many realise it…  Tee hee hee hee…. So, that’s it about me! 😀




Meenu.Iyer A.k.a Aarya




Aiyo Rama Relatives ah 😫 

Hi readers, I hope you are all enjoying Surya bhagawan’s love filled extra “warmth” 😝😝😝😝 

Past 10 days, I’ve been dealing with several relatives and here are a few of them… 

#1- They talk about your personality… How ever good you look, they always find a fault… One of them told me the other day, “Omg! You’ve grown so tall… How and from where will we find you a suitor?” 

  Now what should I do, cut my feet ah, to get married?? My mother fed me Complan mixed with Horlicks , any problem for you ah?? Nonsense fellows! 

Similar shit they speak ya… If you are short, they will talk as if injecting you with pituitary hormone for height growth 😂😂😂😂 

#2 Traits- Genes- similarity… One of my relatives who might be my grandfather’s brother’s daughter said – out of shittily fake excitement – “heyyy.. waaaw… You are mixing up ghee with rice and eating… Just like me… See, even you are eating with right hand.. just like me… Let’s take a selfie, people will think you and I are mother and daughter… You have so many similarities to me.. “Oh maai gaawd… We are so alike… Same family na… Same genes… ”  

Oh yeah… So true… Even I walk with 4 limbs and eat like a monkey, may be in “our” genes 🐒 

Because of such relatives, you feel you’ve lost your originality 😥 sometimes, you even feel that may be you were given in adoption to your parents and that these relatives might’ve been your biological parents 😝😝 

#3- Analysts-judges-gossippers- I have a few aunties, who, no matter what occassion it is… Be it even a funeral, they will start their analysis , judge others and gossip… One of those aunties came to me and said “see this couple, they are 50+ yrs old… They have to get their daughter married, see how they are shamelessly going on couple trips.. instead they have to go to temples , do pariharams so that their daughter gets married… Hey wait, may be that girl has a boy friend that’s why she is also carefree, her parents are also roaming happily… Hmm… What family oh”  

Some people don’t care about the shit that’s on their head, they see someone’s bald head and laugh about it… Bleddy morons! Your head is stinking, go take a shower 😠😠

#4 Copycat Cousins- I have some cousins who copy me hardcore… Like the way I talk, my gestures… I have one cousin who copies me in almost all the ways 😂😂… If I wear a pink kurti, she wears a similar one, if I say some word, she catches it and uses it like some mantra… I bought a pair of Nike shoes(apparently coz of my gigantic personality, I had to take the unisex one), while she could get the ladies shoe in Nike, she insisted on taking the unisex model only…  😫 she copies the way I eat, she tries sleeping like I do… And she says that’s her style too… I mean! That’s ridiculous… How the hell can someone be me by wearing clothes like me ?? 

I am not so good to be copied dear, try copying someone else and leave me alone please 😥
Copycat, day by day, you are only becoming more fat 😝

#5  Comparison Kings and Queens- From the stupendous stats of stupid people , I found out that 75% of the relatives compare…  Aiyoyoyo! I ve had enough of them pa! They compare you with their children who are of your age or may be compare themselves with your parents and they even compare their pet dog’s poop with that of your pets… So much that you end up feeling your pet is a constipate 😥 . 

I’ve got enough of these people ya… They say shit like “hey see, my son is your age, he is married already… My neighbor’s daughter is your age, she is doing PhD in “Rambaford University” in USA’s cookgramam… Why are you still like this? 

See, people your age are doing higher studies, you also study… People your age are earning so much, you also earn like them, people your age are getting married, you also get married, people your age are becoming parents, you also plan for a child soon… 

People your age are dying, you also die ya! 😝😝😝

#6 Boaster-Big-big-talkers-Peethal mannans- These relatives no, aiyoyo, very very dangerous pa… They talk as if they are world achievers… As if they know everything, as if they own everything… They bleddy poke their dirty nose into your affairs and boast so much about themselves… One of my relative was once talking about coffee… So this boasting mama poked his biiig nose in between and was telling “aahn… Coffee means filter coffee only… My wife no, she walks in jet speed from Chennai to Coorg, gets fine coffee beans, roasts them well, powders them just by placing them in between her palms, brews the decoction from Ganga water crystal clear from the valley, mixes it with fresh desi cow milk which is thick like cream, adds fine sugar of Bodhan and serves it to me in silver tumbler…” 

By the time he finished it, there was none 😝😝😝 

Similarly, they talk as if their son is the next Sundar Pichai …( He is not even worth to be a roadside Pichai… That I know), their daughter is Atiloka sundari (monkeys will be more beautiful if they put make up ya, this one is even worse than monkey… Trust me)…. 


If you ever want to punish someone, tie their hands and legs and make them sit in a room, with these boaster relatives of yours… They will come out a changed leaf 😂

So, this is it for now folks,  about my relatives… If you ever relate your relatives to mine, bro-sis join the club 😂 


Meenu Iyer a.k.a Aarya 


Ellarukkum Namaskaram! Andariki Namaskaramu! Sabko Namashkar! Hello Everyone…. I am back with my “signature” post once again…

It has been very long- almost a year or may be more, since I have written something in my very own style… I asked my Akka- what to blog about. She and I were thinking a lot and nothing really struck our minds… Suddenly our Appa came up with some marriage alliance for my Akka and as we saw the profile, “Curd Rice” we said in chorus. Appa was wondering what is this “Curd Rice” . An idea struck, and here, I will enlighten you on what is the connection between food and marriage.

Past 4 years (we have successfully entered into the 5th year recently), in searching the potential match for my Akka (Now don’t ask me questions like “why so long” or shit like that Ok! We have our own reasons). Being the younger one in the house and also, me being the extra crazy and masaledar one, my parents, akka and everyone around me put that burden of shortlisting groom’s profiles for my akka…. For a very long time I hated this job (I still do 😦 ), but then came a ray of hope when I started classifying the matrimony profiles into food varieties. This not only applies to the potential grooms but also to the brides who have made their way into the matrimony sites.

#1: Fruits:
These are the type of guys and girls whose matrimony pictures are photoshopped with blue/green Velvettish background.  Ususally, their profiles have pages and pages of descriptions about their family-ancestry-even to early man times…. They tell every damn detail about the guy/girl’s spiritual side( One mama even wrote how his 35 yr old son does Pooja for 3 hours a day and all that).
While the guys pose for pictures with clean shaven faces in a veshti teamed up with a kurta with vibhuti pattai/kumkumam or thirumaan-srichurnam – standing stiff with both their hands resting under their belly which pouts out a little. The girls pose with a humble  sober-pink or blue or a dull coloured chudidar or a simple dull chiffon saree, long braided hair with flowers (they do this to show off how long their hair is-to let the other girls to envy them >_<  )  with a nice big bottu and some vibhuti or kumkumam on their forehead, adorning medium sized jimikis  on their ears, a thin chain around their neck, a nose pin on the right side of the nose, dull-gold or plastic bangles matching to their dress (same hands resting under the belly pose only) and a smile like Monalisa- Revealing their strong, deep rooted traditional values in the picture itself (So much that you feel like building a temple for them and do archanai to them).

#2 Pulihara/Upma:

This type of girls and guys are those who are equally excited about their marriage, like their parents and relatives are. They are the type of people whose matrimony account is accessed by their relatives also. They post varieties of pictures taken at random functions, festivals, weddings – well dressed in jigu jigu party clothes  (so much that you will be wondering who the groom/bride is-sometimes they wear goggles also-unbearable that is). Various selfies with cousins, relatives, friends and family. These people are of the expectant type. More than them or their parents, their relatives rule over the matrimony scenario. These people expect their relatives to do the work of marriage broker for them.
They also, like the ones in the prev. category , write pages and pages of family history, spirituality, qualifications and all that of the girl/guy).

#3 Sambhar Rice:

These guys and girls are often aged between 24-30, whose profiles have descriptions like “My son/daughter is a simple, home loving-jovial and God fearing person. We are a close knit family of 4. Our son/daughter is a very loving person who is 60% traditional and 40% modern. We have our own house in Chennai. We won’t treat our son-in-law / daughter-in-law like one, but as our own child born from a different parent. We need a fair and handsome/beautiful match for our innocent yet smart child(generally the guy is bald headed). If you like , then please send interest and we will contact you” 

They have a picture clicked in every possible dress and angle- One in Traditional, one in casual, one in formal, one in office,one in hotel, one in a marriage, one with family, one with friends etc….They often mention about their wealth and boast about themselves in every possible way.
These people also, like the previous category of people, are some sort of dependant on their relatives for marriage brokerage.

#4 Biryani: 

These guys and girls are simple, decently qualified, earning good and well settled people with the right blend of present day trend and traditional values. They post a simple picture of theirs, never boast much to sell themselves in the marriage market. They basically have no intention to sell themselves at all. My type of people 😉 .

#5 Chicken Biryani:

These guys and girls are like the above but a little extra casual than the latter. They reveal themselves a little more(sometimes even about their crushes or prev-relationship). They even post pictures in pyjamas and t shirts, selfies clicked early morning even before brushing, selfies kissing their pet or something like that. These people are sometimes a little classy too.  They hold more of present day trends than the traditional values that they hold.

#6 Curd Rice:

These guys and girls are those who seem to be very disinterested towards life. All their profile pictures reveal a neutral expression. While the picture is such, the words written about them are totally the opposite (Generally they write that they are fun-loving and jovial etc). You just can’t tell anything about these people, just like by looking at the curd rice or even smelling it, you cant tell if it is tasting good or it is sour. These people leave you in a fix.

#7 Soups-Salad-Pasta-Garlic Breads:

The NRI guys and girls, who look out only for NRI partners. This category also include the ones in India, who post pictures sitting on their office desks, dressed in formals, generally with an intention to show off how corporate-ish they are 😛 . I need not go in detail about these people,  their pictures or profiles. 60% of the matrimony sites are filled with these profiles only.

#8 Ladies Fingers:  These are the girls who leave you in a fix whether to marry or not, talking about feminism (pseudo feminism ok!) inspired by FB posts about the girls who think feminism is their right to drink, smoke, party and do all shit like that.

#9 Hippos: These are the guys who feel that men are the superior most gender and that they can do anything they want- like party-drink-smoke-do drugs- be a play boy but expect to marry a girl like shudh desi ghee- pure and untouched.

#10 Junkies: These are those people who talk a lot but do nothing. Their profiles seem to be very very attractive and lively but in reality, they don’t even smile. Their biggest laugh would be a small grin.

So folks! I hope now you know how to classify your potential partner and choose them wisely, based on which one of the above categories you fall into…


Meenu Iyer a.k.a Aarya 😉



It was 7:00 am and Lalith sped his Activa, to Barkatpura Hanuman temple to meet Manognya, for one last time. He was struck in the unusual traffic and had to travel 9km more.

Few Years ago:

Chitra, how is the guy? Show his picture na…
Chitra’s was the next wedding in the group of 5 friends.  First it was Varsha’s and now Chitra’s.
He looks nice… But you just finished your MBA and got placed. Why wedding and all now only? You can work for some time yaar… What’s the hurry?
My parents’ decision is the final one… He is earning good, well settled and also goes on-site once in a while… Chalega yaar… He seems to be a nice guy…
Achaaa…. Pyaar ho gaya tereko? Itna sharma mat re… save some for the day of your marriage too..
Chal-Paagal! 😛

Chitra was a 22 year old girl from Hyderabad, who graduated from Osmania University with a Gold Medal in Strategic Management and was placed in a leading consulting firm in Pune, but life had a very different package for her- Her wedding was fixed to Lalith, a 25 year old Techie, based at Chennai.

Chitra and Lalith were engaged and with 3-4 months of courtship, they got married.

Chitra, what are you doing?
Hmm… Lalith, can you help me out with a Job somewhere? I am getting bored sitting home all day….
You can join some hobby classes instead Chitra… We have a big house, a two wheeler and a four wheeler and I have a good bank balance… I am earning well right? I don’t want you to work Chitra….
No more ‘ifs’ or ‘buts’ Chitra… Give me that Tab…I will look out for the best hobby class for you somewhere nearby….

Chitra enrolled herself in Music and Cooking classes… She improved her vocal skills and also learnt ways to cook like a pro.

6 months passed and one evening, when Lalith was back home, a surprise awaited him….
Lalith….Lalith… guess what??? Chitra was at the peak of her excitement…
What is it dear? 
Fresh up and come soon… I will tell it during dinner… 

Lalith wondered at the child-like excitement of Chitra and rushed to the table as soon as possible.
At the dinner table, Chitra placed 2 big plates, water glasses and a tiny plate and glass of water… She looked at her husband and smiled shyly…
What is it Chitra??
Did you not understand?  One plate for you, one for me and the other for our Little one… We are going to be parents Lalith!!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀
Whaaat!!!! Oh My God!!! Am I going to be Appa!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 I am so happy today!!! 
Yessss… We are going to be parents soon…
Why din’t you tell it to me immediately??
I wanted to surprise you…..
But I think I am the last one to know this!
No, I haven’t told it to anyone…. I will tell it to Amma-Appa and my Parents tomorrow…
I thought that you’d have told it to everyone by this time!
I am not so stupid Lalith… Why would I?
I didn’t mean it that way! Don’t take it the other way round…
Fine… Good night.. 😦
I am going out… I’ll be back in an hour! 

Sometime later….
Chitra…come here… to the table…
Ice Cream? 
Sure… 😀 That small cup, the two of us will share, ok?

In the course of 9 months, Chitra delivered a baby girl. The couple named her Manognya.
Chitra, left to Chennai when baby Manognya turned 5 months old…

Manognya turned 10 months old… Life was very hectic for Lalith… He never had time for his wife or child… He worked even on weekends… Chitra never complained a bit about Lalith’s carelessness and never showed it out on days when their infant was suffering with high fever. She knew that the recession had hit the Indian market and everyone, with a fear of losing their jobs and to meet expenses, worked harder every day.
She knew it all…
One evening Lalith came home dejected. He kicked his shoes hard that they flew and fell at the Kitchen door. He sat on the sofa and hung his head down, covering his face with both his palms. Chitra did not understand what went wrong with her husband… She left him alone for sometime.
Lalith, coffee…
Lalith uncovered his face, with his eyes red and teary…
Chitra, I lost my job Chitra… They fired me from my Job… I was one among the 40 employees… Many of them requested the Manager and have started flattering and serving him like a slave to get back their jobs… I cannot do that… 
Lalith cried covering his face, lying on Chitra’s lap

It’s alright Lalith… We will find a solution for this… Don’t cry…

Lalith tried his best to get a job, all his efforts went in vain… It was very difficult for him manage the finances.
I want to celebrate Manognya’s first birthday with pomp… Amma and Appa are telling that they will bear the expenses… I am a very bad father Chitra… I am unable to celebrate my daughter’s birthday also… I had so may plans…  I don’t want to ask my parents for it…

Lalith, it is just a birthday.. We will do a small pooja and do a celebration within the house… Next year, we will throw a big party.. Don’t you worry…

As per Chitra’s wishes, they performed a pooja for the Child’s well being and did a small celebration within the house.

Lalith, tomorrow I am having an interview… Can you drop me at the Office please?
What! You never told me that you were looking out for jobs… If you get a job who will take care of our child? Have you gone out of your brain?
I’ll explain… See, it is a 9-5 job, till the time I come back, Manognya will be taken care off by my mother… I told amma about our situation.. She said she will be here…
Oh! so you told your mother that her son-in-law was thrown out of his job and is jobless eh?
No Lalith, nothing like that.. I just explained that the situation is not so good and that I need to get back to work….
Ok! Who will bear her stay’s expenses here?
I have saved a little, Appa said he will give me some money for Amma’s stay… Please agree to this Lalith…. see, it is alright… The job market for Software engineers is very tough, but not for Management grads… I am a MBA, I am almost selected in that company… Just the last round tomorrow and I will bag a very good job…
Oh! So it came to the extent of your Appa sending money to bear our expenses ah?  You are showing off that you are better qualified than me eh??
Lalith why are you talking like this?
Chitra, are you trying to insult me in front of your family?  Look, I am joining classes for MBA from tomorrow and I cannot drop you at the office… I am not going to take care of Manognya as well… I saved money for my studies and I am going to do that… You hell with your work!
Lalith, how can you be so selfish?
Don’t ever think you can dominate me!

Chitra bagged the job and silently paid for the house expenses.
Lalith and Chitra were not in good terms with each other… They fought almost everyday…

One day,
Lalith, how dare you call my father and shout at him?
Why don’t you ask him the reason, yourself!
Appa just suggested you to work and study later….Need of the moment is money, not studies…
His talks were not in a suggestive tone… He indirectly poked at me that I was thrown out of my job and I am now eating your money!
Why do you take it that way?
Your father did speak that way…And you don’t try to suppress me… I know you don’t want me to study further… you want to dominate me with your money… Remember that I will not bow my head to anyone!
You have gone out of your mind Lalith! I am not dominating you… I am just helping you meet the expenses…nothing more… My father educated me so that my studies would be of some help at times like these…
Oh! so now you are telling that my father did not educate me more eh? you are such a bitch and your father is a retard!
Lalith, unmindful of Manognya playing there, stumbled upon her toy car and fell down on Little Manognya . Manognya’s head hit the floor hard and in few seconds the floor was filled with the infant’s blood… She lay there unconscious… Chitra picked her dying child and rushed to the Hospital….
Lalith went to the hospital and found Chitra crying silently in the corner of the Operation Theatre.
Don’t you dare come near me… You mad man! My child! What did she do to you? You went to an extent to kill her!! You are a useless guy, filled with nothing but EGO!!! You Psycho!

Lalith walked out of the place angrily…

A week later, Chitra, along with Manognya and her Father, went to Hyderabad and got her child treated there for the wounds… It took a lot of time for Manognya’s wounds to heal… Meanwhile, Chitra joined in the consultancy firm, which offered her a job long back, when she graduated.

Lalith joined ISB-Hyderabad, for his further studies, after applying for a divorce with Chitra on mutual consent.

Hello, Chitra… I want to see my child once… We have the last hearing the day after tomorrow… Before that I want to see Manognya…Please…
Fine, come to Barkatpura Hanuman Temple on Saturday at 8:00 am sharp.. Not a minute here or there…
Ok! I will be there…

Chitra dressed up Manognya in a white T-shirt and grey floral shorts…
It was 7:30 am and Chitra, along with her daughter, left to the temple.

Lalith reached Barkatpura late, at 8:30 am… He carried with him a backpack in which he bought a lot of toys, chocolates and clothes for his daughter. He was worried about the time and ran along the long corridor, pushing people aside. He searched for Chitra all over and did not find her…
Chitra must have left.. I was late… No problem, I will pray and go atleast…
With hands held and eyes closed tight, he mumbled a prayer in front of Hanuman.
Few drops of tears fell from his face…
Appa… Appa… A little girl tapped Lalith’s leg…
She wore a white T-shirt with a picture of Lalith holding a baby , on which “Appa’s little Girl” was written in bold letters…
Manognya…. He said, as he lifted the 3 year old child and kissed her… He ran his hand through Manognya’s head. As he felt the stitch marks on her head , he cried out louder.
Lalith saw that the child resembled him a lot… Every time Manognya called him ‘Appa’, his heart skipped a beat… Chitra saw it all in hiding…
Can I take my child back?
Chitra, please don’t say that… I need you and Manognya back.. Please… He cried like a baby, covering his face with both his palms… He fell on his knees, feeling guilty of his actions…
Chitra… I am very sorry… I shouldn’t have done that to you… I don’t want you to leave me Chitra… I am extremely sorry for all my past actions… I missed you each day… That Divorce, I filed it out of my Ego… Today, I stand here, all alone.. like an orphan… My parents are no more talking to me… I have no friends… I am all alone…. My EGO killed the human in me… I know, sorry is not enough to heal all the wounds I caused to you and Manognya…. I have taken back the case yesterday Chitra… I will take care of you and Manognya from now on… you can go for work, you can run your own business or do anything you please…. But please don’t leave me like this… I will apologise to your parents…. Please don’t leave me Chitra….
I have a MBA degree, I bagged a 24 LPA job… what is the use of all these when I don’t have anyone by me? Chitra, please be mine… I want the two of you….
Chitra sat down and hugged Lalith, who cried like a baby…
It is alright Lalith… I am sorry to have shouted at you in the Hospital… Let us not think about this anymore…. Come, let’s go for an ice cream and then start afresh…

All it takes is a little bit of understanding, situational motivation and a lot of love to live…


P.S. This is based on a true story of my friend, who is my middle-school senior,  who asked me to write his story and make him famous (I have changed the names upon his wife’s request).