Hi readers, I hope you are all enjoying Surya bhagawan’s love filled extra “warmth” 😝😝😝😝
Past 10 days, I’ve been dealing with several relatives and here are a few of them…
#1- They talk about your personality… How ever good you look, they always find a fault… One of them told me the other day, “Omg! You’ve grown so tall… How and from where will we find you a suitor?”
Now what should I do, cut my feet ah, to get married?? My mother fed me Complan mixed with Horlicks , any problem for you ah?? Nonsense fellows!
Similar shit they speak ya… If you are short, they will talk as if injecting you with pituitary hormone for height growth 😂😂😂😂
#2 Traits- Genes- similarity… One of my relatives who might be my grandfather’s brother’s daughter said – out of shittily fake excitement – “heyyy.. waaaw… You are mixing up ghee with rice and eating… Just like me… See, even you are eating with right hand.. just like me… Let’s take a selfie, people will think you and I are mother and daughter… You have so many similarities to me.. “Oh maai gaawd… We are so alike… Same family na… Same genes… ”
Oh yeah… So true… Even I walk with 4 limbs and eat like a monkey, may be in “our” genes 🐒
Because of such relatives, you feel you’ve lost your originality 😥 sometimes, you even feel that may be you were given in adoption to your parents and that these relatives might’ve been your biological parents 😝😝
#3- Analysts-judges-gossippers- I have a few aunties, who, no matter what occassion it is… Be it even a funeral, they will start their analysis , judge others and gossip… One of those aunties came to me and said “see this couple, they are 50+ yrs old… They have to get their daughter married, see how they are shamelessly going on couple trips.. instead they have to go to temples , do pariharams so that their daughter gets married… Hey wait, may be that girl has a boy friend that’s why she is also carefree, her parents are also roaming happily… Hmm… What family oh”
Some people don’t care about the shit that’s on their head, they see someone’s bald head and laugh about it… Bleddy morons! Your head is stinking, go take a shower 😠😠
#4 Copycat Cousins- I have some cousins who copy me hardcore… Like the way I talk, my gestures… I have one cousin who copies me in almost all the ways 😂😂… If I wear a pink kurti, she wears a similar one, if I say some word, she catches it and uses it like some mantra… I bought a pair of Nike shoes(apparently coz of my gigantic personality, I had to take the unisex one), while she could get the ladies shoe in Nike, she insisted on taking the unisex model only… 😫 she copies the way I eat, she tries sleeping like I do… And she says that’s her style too… I mean! That’s ridiculous… How the hell can someone be me by wearing clothes like me ??
I am not so good to be copied dear, try copying someone else and leave me alone please 😥
Copycat, day by day, you are only becoming more fat 😝
#5 Comparison Kings and Queens- From the stupendous stats of stupid people , I found out that 75% of the relatives compare… Aiyoyoyo! I ve had enough of them pa! They compare you with their children who are of your age or may be compare themselves with your parents and they even compare their pet dog’s poop with that of your pets… So much that you end up feeling your pet is a constipate 😥 .
I’ve got enough of these people ya… They say shit like “hey see, my son is your age, he is married already… My neighbor’s daughter is your age, she is doing PhD in “Rambaford University” in USA’s cookgramam… Why are you still like this?
See, people your age are doing higher studies, you also study… People your age are earning so much, you also earn like them, people your age are getting married, you also get married, people your age are becoming parents, you also plan for a child soon…
People your age are dying, you also die ya! 😝😝😝
#6 Boaster-Big-big-talkers-Peethal mannans- These relatives no, aiyoyo, very very dangerous pa… They talk as if they are world achievers… As if they know everything, as if they own everything… They bleddy poke their dirty nose into your affairs and boast so much about themselves… One of my relative was once talking about coffee… So this boasting mama poked his biiig nose in between and was telling “aahn… Coffee means filter coffee only… My wife no, she walks in jet speed from Chennai to Coorg, gets fine coffee beans, roasts them well, powders them just by placing them in between her palms, brews the decoction from Ganga water crystal clear from the valley, mixes it with fresh desi cow milk which is thick like cream, adds fine sugar of Bodhan and serves it to me in silver tumbler…”
By the time he finished it, there was none 😝😝😝
Similarly, they talk as if their son is the next Sundar Pichai …( He is not even worth to be a roadside Pichai… That I know), their daughter is Atiloka sundari (monkeys will be more beautiful if they put make up ya, this one is even worse than monkey… Trust me)….
If you ever want to punish someone, tie their hands and legs and make them sit in a room, with these boaster relatives of yours… They will come out a changed leaf 😂
So, this is it for now folks, about my relatives… If you ever relate your relatives to mine, bro-sis join the club 😂
Meenu Iyer a.k.a Aarya